You should feel like nothing. You should feel like you have nothing anymore. You can’t just do that to someone, or to two people. It doesn’t work that way. You don’t fuck with people’s hearts just because you don’t know what you want. I’ve literally spent everyday with you these past 5 months, and…
this is EXACTLY how I feel. reading this is like opening a book with a mirror inside
you say you care, that you hate seeing me this hurt. well did you forget that you’re the one doing this to me? you can make this so much easier on everyone if you stopped leading everyone on. I can’t trust a single thing you say, you’ve hurt me so much. but why can’t I just leave? graduating high school could be about 40 times easier on me without you. but you’re an addiction. I CAN’T get away from you. I love you & you mean so much to me. why? why do I have to care about you so much? all you do is hurt me, and tell me the things you dislike about me and I somehow end up falling for you. what’s wrong with me? why do I feel this way about you? and why can’t that other boy just disappear out of both of our lives? what does he have that I don’t? looks huh? so you’d choose looks over personality? oh I have the better personality? well thank you, but how does that help at all? now explain to me, what is it that you don’t like about me? my race? did you honestly decide that you don’t want to be with me because I’m Egyptian? no, I’m not offended or angry, I’m just disappointed. I realize now why you’ve never given blood before - you don’t have a heart.
when you felt like shit, and I came over to take care of you, massage you, snuggled and watched tv with you, and told you how much you ment to me - you still didn’t care.
when you moved from one side of town to the other, I came and moved all of your furniture, drove to all parts of town to store your valuables during the move, and stuck by you through your difficult time - you still didn’t care.
when you were simply having a shitty day and felt like the whole world was against you, I told you that you were beautiful in every way, and that you were going to get through your hard times - you still didn’t care.
then, when I told you that I loved you - you still didn’t care (and that’s why you’re now with him).